Today, I had made my first step to finally kiss dating goodbye. While I was reading the lessons Joshua Harris wrote in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye and after watching Dear John twice, I realized that I really wanted no one to be with but myself and that my loved ones could fulfill the emptiness that's been embracing me for quite sometime already.
Oh yes, I wouldn't deny that I still miss the feeling of being hugged and kissed. I miss the way a very much in love couple does. I miss how to be loved and how to be cared about so much. I still miss my previous lover, and somehow I can say that I still love him that's why I realized that dating or letting other people enter my life isn't the solution I need but time to know myself even more, time to know what I really want to do with my life.
I had said that I am a one-man woman and I will always stand by that. Dating other guys nevertheless, has done me no good at all. I still want to find out who I am and I can say that as of the moment, being a single mom had helped me to enjoy my life even more. I can focus on my studies now, I can take care of my son without getting stressed at all. Yeah, baby sitting can be very tiring but it is literal now unlike before when I am so tired of my life that I wanna puke out all the bad feelings. I looked ugly when I was still committed to someone who had promised me the word "forever" but left me after three years. And since the night that I closed the book of our love story, I felt better and lighter. I can breathe now...with poise and beauty. People already see my worth and I can feel my substance coming back again as a woman. I guess I'll be more complete if I say goodbye to dating for about sometime until the right moment come. Besides dating can be dangerous sometimes and I don't want to see myself waking up one day inside a room surrounded by lustrous elements telling to myself that I had sex with stranger.
I have my family, I have my friends and where they are there my home is and there true love exists. I don't really need someone I only want as a companion not as a lover. I don't need a man at all because happiness isn't measured with what I have or who I am, it's how I live to make my life happy and worth living for. And for that, I am telling this to the world.
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